The way I see it.

A long time ago a space ship landed here. There wasn't any life at all anywhere on the planet. The spaceship driver, feeling the urge, opened the trap door on his/her space suit and took a dump. Then he/she wiped his/her Obama with a Koran and climbed back into the space ship and left, feeling quite refreshed. And from that little soft steaming pile of Government a brainless single celled creature emerged and, over the years, evolved into everything we have today.